Liv(ing Vicariously Through) Work

Like MTV's "Cribs," but the in-real-life, non-filmed version, lived by the hangers on.

Rooftop pool deck, with ocean views. Each of the buildings in the complex had its own. And these were in addition to the complex's communal pool, by the restaurant, and the luxury gym.

A significant consideration in switching out of BigLaw and into BigBanking was the promise of a better work/life balance. It FEELS like I made the right choice and am headed in the right direction, though there still doesn't seem to be enough time, and in some ways it feels like there is even less time - things fell to the wayside over the pandemic, and I have yet to manage to pick them up.

Terrace off the guest apartment. Envy-worthy outdoor space. Puts the Jardin to shame.

One of the aspects that's helped work feel less like work is the breaks in the day routine. There are more meetings (now I understand the office worker backlash against excessive, overscheduled meetings; that was NOT a thing in law). It's less conducive to productivity, but it does give the brain some rest time. Not having to bill helps, too. And there are more professional excursions - an offsite retreat, an out of state conference, travel to a client meeting. Ok, so each one of those has been to Florida, which, really, hasn't been all bad (crazy politics aside). Mini-vacations, in many ways.

Different view of the rooftop, toward the building clubhouse, and gym.

And the thing about advising really wealthy people is that one gets a peek into their lives, both the good and bad. As a toddler refugee whose family used to receive public assistance, it can get a little heady - billionaires find my advice valuable. I've seen, and lived, the full range of wealth; I've observed; I understand the allure, the power, the potential, but also its limitations.

Wetlands kayaking heaven.

But, yeah. It can buy lovely things. The rich believe in trickle down because when you are in their orbit, some of the bounty does trickle down.  Exhibit A being business travel. Back in January, we went to see a client who is a developer - of luxury housing. And he had us stay in one of the units he reserves for family. Not gonna lie: It was quite nice. And in the middle of a New York winter, Florida is a fine respite.

Morning walk and exploration led to this walkway. A little scary and deserted early in the morning? A little. But curiosity triumphed. Where does it lead?

The units were huge, by New York City standards. And maintenance was less than what I pay for my rinky dink little pad.

Kayaks!!!

The complex is waterside. It's Florida, so there are wetlands. Which is pretty perfect for kayaking. And by the ocean, no worries about toxic algae blooms (that stymied my dream to buy a lake house).

Gazebo over the water.

Though they're not immune from climate change. Recent hurricanes left the landscaping in ruins.

Um, what are those tracks? Florida, wetlands... gator?

But oh what a life I could have. Spacious abode. Come home, go kayak.

Sure looks like gator habitat.

All I can do up here is to try to replicate that on weekends by signing the family up for a neighborhood association with a dock and kayak racks. With all the mandatory licensing exams behind me, THIS is the year to see whether that vision of balance comes to fruition. To balance!

"It wasn't me!"

[Edited to completion March 17, 2023.]

 

A Tale of Two Meals (24 Hours Apart)

From fine dining to Frankenstein feasting.

On Superb Owl 🦉Sunday, a Michelin star tasting menu (the first tasting menu I've had in a very long time - thanks to my out of town college pal, for upping my dining game!).

Then Monday, the 13th, more typical fair in these parts - butternut squash and chickpea curry with greens over rice/quinoa, comprising, in part: 

the squash purchased so long ago it'd started to shrivel;

chickpeas from COVID food panic buying days;

pantry curry powder and coconut milk;

"fresh" garlic powder grated from inadvertently dried out cloves;

fresh ginger frozen to keep it from further dehydrating;

spinach that started to go so was stashed in the freezer to keep it from advancing to outright slimey;

Thai lime leaves that fell off the potted tree overwintering on the guestroom heater that is inexplicably losing its leaves (despite my being only a mildly neglectful plant mother this winter) ... 

Do we sense a theme here? It's basically Frankenstein curry made of misfit foods that have the misfortune of landing in my home.🤷🏻‍♀️ 

'Twas still pretty tasty - all the years of watching cooking shows paying off in the ability to turn questionable ingredients into an edible dish. Yay, me? Yay, me!

[Edited February 14, 2023 for completion.]

Don't Go Fish

Trying not to go the way of the Mexican cavefish.

View into the almost empty jar of cashews.

Eating like an adult is sometimes a challenge. Occasionally I excel at it. Oftentimes, and moreso of late, I seem to do it quite poorly.

It feels like it is among my adulting hurdles of late. I used to have a tidy apartment, at least in the public spaces, where I could host people. That has gone to pot. And in spectacular crash and burn fashion. I am not on top of my finances anymore, either. I am confident I'm fine, but I used to be quite organized about it. I went off track somewhere. 

Today's lunch base consisted of leftover pita chips from the business travel per diem lunch from over a week ago. The creative part was jazzing up the accompanying hummus - already in the fridge - with liberal cayenne pepper and paprika, and then topping it with toasted walnuts and, here was the clever part, toasted French fried onions from a can left over from Thanksgiving. The onions added a nice salty, crunchy touch to the makeshift lunch. And this was all made possible because I finally hand washed a small frying pan that had sat dirty for far too long.

At least on the dining front, apparently I am not alone...

Now, if only I could take my own advice, right? The eggrolls were better than nothing, but not optimal. But accountability can be a good thing.

@1pot1plate is an acquaintance, a friend of a friend whom I have met a couple of times, and otherwise have interacted with only on social media. She seems very sweet and lovely, someone I might really like.

Anyway, she hit upon something that struck me - the depression and ADHD. I have suspected for a while that I am an undiagnosed case of ADD; Sissy, too. And I rather suspect that the atrocious housekeeping is a symptom of low grade depression that coincided with COVID - it was the stress of work, and the disappointment of failed relationships, and infertility, and watching the window on having a family close and not doing anything until it was too late, and not knowing how to mourn all of it, or quite letting go of the hope. And the numbing agent has been social media, rather than housekeeping. And it was all hidden away because there was too much work and accumulation during the pandemic as it was, and no one was visiting. Anyway, it's hard to make meals when the kitchen is perpetually messy.

And so easily a downward spiral can set in. The sedentariness. The change in everything. Except, in my case, I ate LESS during the pandemic. I became accustomed and inured to periods of starvation. Not exactly like the Mexican cavefish, but certainly less muscle mass.

I need to snap myself out of this. Make some headway. Swim against the current again, find the light, not lose my eyes - those poor cavefish.

[Edited to completion February 6, 2023.]

First of February Fluff

What passes for snowfall these days.

Just a dusting of snow, but it felt necessary to capture it, given our snow drought. We might not have more. Blink and you'd have missed it. But, alerted by the post of a certain early morning riser photographer, I knew to look out to the terrace to capture it.

We had the longest Winter spell without measurable snow in decades. With the planet warming, this is bound to be a trend.

For all the disappointment of not bringing human life into the world, sometimes it's also a relief - for what problems are we leaving these babies to solve? Too many.

[Edited February 4, 2023.]