When Time Is Money, Literally

Vacation days left on the table. 

Photo from my last real vacation, back in September 2019.  It is the Grand Prismatic Spring in Yellowstone National Park.

I checked in to "One Frugal Girl," the FIRE blog I follow, and caught her post on money mistakes.  I added a comment (either not yet posted, or not, and never to be, posted - I rather suspect she may be leery of my comments given that this one that I submitted was never posted; oh well, whatev) on one of my money mistakes from the past year: closing out on December 31st with unused vacation days.

It is a quandary.  BigLaw offers four weeks a year, generally, and three personal days, on a full-time schedule - so plenty of days, but plenty of work; so how are we supposed to take all of that vacation?  Back in the old days at The Firm, it was possible to carry over twenty vacation days into a new year, which just meant keeping watch and taking a random day here or there to continue accruing (vacation accrual stops after hitting the cap of twenty days).  

Years ago, I inadvertently lost track and stopped accruing without being aware - for perhaps a couple of weeks, the equivalent of nearly one full day.  I kicked myself and vowed not to let that happen again, and recruited my assistant to nudge me when I was getting close.  I never intended to bank vacation days (on leaving The Firm, those unused days get paid out - so they do have monetary value) - I love to travel and take "me time"; it was just hard to find convenient periods to schedule time away from the Orifice.  In spite of myself, the mission became not leaving time (slash money) on the table.  I was successful for a while, still taking a single day off or using a few hours of vacation here or there if I was short billables; it was pretty easy and an effective way to stay below the cap.

But a couple of years ago, as The Firm restructured in advance of relocating, and downsized the secretarial pool, the policy changed.  I can only guess that a lot of the staff that took the exit package had also accrued a lot of unused vacation time, and The Firm suddenly found itself paying out some large vacation day balances.  So for attorneys, maybe staff too, the policy became that only ten vacation days could be carried over.  Meaning that in that particular year, I suddenly had to schedule six weeks of vacation.  I failed; I think I left a week on the table, and personal days.  That I remember means I still feel regret about that, haven't quite forgiven myself.  I have since begun each year carrying over a balance of the maximum ten vacation days.

And in 2020, with quarantine and all of the mad rush of client work in anticipation of tax law changes, it was just more difficult to schedule - but there were possible pockets; I just didn't seize on them.  With my reduced schedule, I had the pressure to keep up the hours - hit 100 percent, or close to it, for my reduced target.  I did that, but at the expense of my earned time off.  So for last year, it was six days, which is the equivalent of a full paycheck.  Two weeks of earned vacation that I did not use, and all three of my personal days - yikes; one and a half paychecks.  That's not small beans.  On the other hand, I earned both prorated bonuses in full, which might have been jeopardized had I not hit my hours target.  I suppose both of those put together were worth more in dollars.  The thing is, I fully anticipated the issue, and tried to avoid the predicament.  At one point I had a week off scheduled, then deferred it because a client project got active and the junior associate had scheduled overlapping vacation (after I had already been approved for the time off), and there would have been no coverage if we both had gone out.  I could have pulled rank and asked her to defer her vacation, but I didn't.  And there just was no time afterward to reschedule - we just kept sprinting toward year end.  I mentioned it in passing to the partner whose client matter had become active, and she suggested doing as she was doing - defer until January.  Thanks - very helpful when my days expire at the end of December.  

And I did need the time off.  I feel ragged, physically.  And psychologically.  And knowing I couldn't take my earned days, it felt like working and not getting paid for it - hardly engenders enthusiasm.  

(Not that it is anywhere remotely comparable, but with all the racial tension of last year and the proposals for reparations of descendants of the enslaved, it offered perspective into unpaid work - it really is a wonder African Americans survived it all; the physical fortitude and mental fortitude is more than I am sure I could ever fully appreciate.)

Overly loyal, overly responsible was I.  That was a regret from earlier in my career too - I could have jumped long ago and did not (I literally told a headhunter in 2004, "I feel like I would be abandoning the ship when I should be helping everyone to bail out water"); I didn't even have time to do proper research to evaluate the opportunity back then.  Who knows where my life might have gone had I had a four day work week earlier in my career.  Ah well.  Sliding Doors.

That phenomenon of working and not getting paid has also manifested itself in the disregard of some of my bosses of my reduced schedule.  Frustrating, to say the least.  Sure, the clients pay the big bucks for us to be always available, but there is a full stable of other attorneys to support the partners...  Leads me to believe it is just not workable - my desire to have more time for myself, on the one hand, and this particular position at this particular Firm, on the other.  I already sense that I am being edged out.  Time to reposition.

Until then, my vow is to start the work year off by prioritizing myself first.  I have given too much of myself already, paid too high a price.  Time to stop the vicious cycle.  

The thing is, a former colleague pointed out to me years ago that four weeks off is really only one week per quarter, which isn't all that much time away.  The key is to schedule it in advance, set it in stone, alert colleagues and clients to it, and work - and make everyone else work - around it.  That shouldn't be so hard, right?  I deserve it; I need to have the confidence to assert myself to claim it is all.

And so today I overrode my deferential instincts, "took up space," and imposed upon the head partner's own overdue vacation (she opened the door by emailing me, although she asked not to be emailed back about work so that she could enjoy her vacation - this wasn't really work, not client work, anyway) to submit my request, and scheduled two of those carryover vacation days (Inauguration Day and Tet Eve).  Yay me!  Goal for this year: No days left on the table.