Bobbitted Blossoms, Battered (and Fried)

Aubrey (suspected cousin of Audrey from "Little Shop of Horrors"), the mystery volunteer squash plant of gargantuan proportions that arose from the compost top layer dumped into the largest planter during the mandated rooftop exile, the plant that strangled its tomato planter mates with its climbing tendrils, that collapsed of its own weight over the side of the planter, crushing and bending the tomatoes as it fell, nonetheless nurtures and feeds me, even without mature squash. 

Since I don't actually want to grow squash (my guess so far, from the single female blossom with its little immature ovary, is that we are expecting a little pumpkin) and am just letting Aubrey be, to live out a full and productive life this season with the one squash that seems to be forming, a squash blossom meal, for squashy birth control as much as seasonality of ingredients, was in order. And since I am (somewhat guilt-strickenly) giving myself permission not to work on my day off, today was the day for new ingredient research and experimentation (and a timely blog post!).

First off, the Bobbitting - the interwebs say the stamen is not edible; only the flower is. A shame, because as the stamens were plucked, they had a nice, fresh, vegetally juicy aroma.

Felt a little funny about processing, but 🤷🏻‍♀️. Most of my blossoms were past prime, hard to pry open, the petals crepey and thin and delicate and stuck together, full of pollen. 

Note to self: prime harvest time is just as they first open. I only had one in that stage; it was larger and fleshier and turgid and pre-pollen, perfect for meal prep. The rest, even the one that was in full bloom in the morning, were withered and unyielding and messily yellow-staining. Most of the recipes call for stuffing the blossoms; I didn't bother. It's my day off and that would have been too much effort for likely failure; they just looked like they would tear if I tried to peel them open yet again.

So I just lightly battered (corn starch, salt, smoked paprika, cayenne pepper) and fried and finished with a sprinkling of sea salt while hot, and they were delish! Next time, maybe I will try with seltzer for an even lighter batter. And batter in one batch and fry all of them together while the oil is still hot and plentiful (this go around, in mini batches, some of the batter steamed and looked uncooked, rather than golden crisp). 

And I quite liked my base accompaniment pilaf of rice/quinoa (yes, left over from yesterday) with plentiful spinach and scallion, seasoned with salt and lemon pepper, too. That's another repeater.

This Jardin-centric meal has me counting how many more blossoms Aubrey has budding, and wondering whether enough can come in simultaneously for a repeat meal. Or, the blossoms are supposed to keep up to a week refrigerated; maybe I will try harvesting at peak and storing until the yield is suffucient. And supplementing with young stems - I did one, and it was lovely, not spiny at all.

Salivating for Aubrey's next yield....