Ice, Ice Baby

The social ties of singletons, loners, and others - not as icy as they might appear.

With a nod to Vanilla Ice for the imaginary soundtrack to this post, it was so cold that there weren't many people out and about on this icy day after the end of our snow drought - not by New York City standards, anyway, even though I timed my work from home walk break for the warmest part of the day when it was forecasted to reach a high of 25 degrees. I did encounter snow people on my abbreviated (single) round of Carl Schurz Park, though; ironically, these icy individuals were clustered in a social group - not alone and on their own as one might understandably assume from their inherently cold nature. 

Outdoor dining near Gracie Mansion.

As a self-professed introvert, I'd say it's a misconception that we loners are standoffish or chilly, as we're generally portrayed. Sure, we were not all that consternated by COVID quarantine. We may have actually enjoyed the challenges of scaling down our social lives and baking portions and ice cream batches. Pandemic isolation just happened to be a better working environment for us in ways (and some would say none of us were really all that alone). I'd say I've never been so productive. In the end, however, the pace was too much - not the way I wanted to live the rest of my life.

The sunny corner of the Jardin.

During those dark early days, the single people who were yearning for human interaction bolstered virtual dating. It was so perplexing to me, about the farthest thing from my mind - between all the potential for viral transmission (and with effective strangers!) if the dates were to succeed to real life meetings, and my preoccupation with The Project. Frankly, The Project was a convenient excuse to take a break from dating and go grey - I changed my Match profile and was pretty upfront about why I was on hiatus; it just felt like that big a life decision was too much to foist on a nascent relationship. I found hope and welcome distraction that summer in the news out of the National Zoo; of course the outcome there was considerably better than mine. 

That same corner of the Jardin, viewed the evening prior, distorted, through a sheet of ice clinging to the door to the terrace.

Although my aversion for the dating process might suggest a desire to be solitary, actually, there was a little part of me that was motivated to undertake The Project to avoid that very fate in the future - for me, for Sissy, for Lil' Bro. Ah well, we will just have to keep each other company - unless one of us can manage to break out of the cycle.

Really, though, we introverts aren't antisocial; we are just social in different ways. I, for one, passed the New York Times social ties diagnostic test with flying colors. Sure, social media has helped a lot. Phone dates, too. And a healthy dose of real life get-togethers - just carefully curated ones. We ARE warm and fuzzy, just in a quieter way. So don't just pass us by; slow your pace a smidge so we can match your stride.